Scenario Store News
Scenario Store News is a podcast resurrected from YouTube and now brought on a weekly basis straight to your ears through an audio device near you! Wherein you shall find Julianna and Keerstan, two cat-loving nerd girls with passionate opinions they're looking to share with the world!
THIS PODCAST CONTAINS HARSH LANGUAGE AND MATURE THEMES, LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
This month Keerstan and Julianna bring on the wonderful Morgan and Nicole to think up and laugh about crossover AUs!
It's been a long and feelsy day, but Pornhub is the ultimate in Chaotic Good, our political climate is as asdfghjkl; as ever, and we have to admit that we actually are kind of curious about to escape the Matrix.
Marvel gets pounded in the butt by its own not-so-thinly veiled nazi infiltration, Nutella is for eating, fandoms gone wild and speculation everywhere, and the meme to end all memes.
We're old (oh god, we're so old), but sometimes it really is better to be salty than it is to be happy, don't lick the Nintendo Switch, and don't forget about PIZZA-CATO!
We have good words, the best words. Nobody does words better than we do, pass it on. (Come on now, though, how else can we possibly describe ourselves in this current dumpster fire of a political landscape? Ah well, you know, at least we have Star Wars and Mass Effect and possibly even actual outer space. Also cookies and Depeche Mode and Disney. There are things. We are can breathe a little from time to time.)
This month Keerstan and Julianna bring on the wonderful Nicole to talk about SHIPS (see what we did there). Not an entirely salt-free episode, as that is probably not a real thing, but we do yet spend most of the time begging the question: Did they curl your toes? Dwarf your beard? Arl your Eamon? Shank your Jory? Praise your Maker? Grope your grinder? Establish your canon? Kaddis your Katie? Dampen your Divine? Pamper your Paragon? Grey your Warden? Pudding your peach? Float your frigate? Explore your Deep Roads?
Shia's back, there's Jedi and then there are Jedi, Beyonce's the queen, Sweden happened (or more like it didn't), stuff, things...oh, and what the actual fuck with the cookies?
Some restructuring is in order while everything is on fire and yeah, everything is on fire but at least we know what we want done with our ashes?
Life imitates art imitates life? Between news from the Queen, ongoing excitement over upcoming television, scientific marvels, and politics just, you know, happening...add some video game salt and some video game intrigue, some weird emotions about sportsball, and wherever the hell else our feels will take us, and here we are.
We could never have imagined that one day we would proudly follow Shia LaBeouf, Teen Vogue, the National Parks, and Merriam-Webster into battle, and yet...
A slightly shorter episode suppressing salt and sleepiness and sniffles and sneezes, saturated with so much sadness, but also historic statements, SHIA SURPRISE.
This month Keerstan and Julianna get out their mage rage! Anders was right, Elthina was guilty, the mages deserve freedom, the Chantry made for some beautiful fireworks back there, and BioWare can meet us in the fucking pit!
A shorter episode after some birthday shenanigans, covering topics such as dating Idris Elba, Deadpool being Deadpool, and a great deal of quietly suppressed rage.
Carrie Fisher feels may never end...no, really, this is not okay...we're really upset about Carrie Fisher...also Debbie Reynolds...ow, our hearts... (We do talk about other things, too, though, we swear!)
Ringing in the new year by reflecting on revolution and finding its Patronus, all kinds of fandom pain as usual, and how very fucking much we love Space Mom.
Earthlings on Fire: a year in review. In reflecting over all its misery and all that has happened, picking out favorite stories, majoring in memes, and Keerstan briefly having to convince Julianna that she didn't actually kill David Bowie...what a year it has been, indeed.
With an extra special dedication to Carrie Fisher, as at the time of recording we believed she was going to make it through. We love you, Space Mom; you know.
This month Keerstan and Julianna take another tiny break from the theme to have a fun, fluffy discussion of what we would get all of our precious babies for the holidays!
Cat pwns human, what the actual fuck is this year continued, fleeting bursts of hope, and the worst/most accurate possible summary of the Handmaid's Tale.
This week the lovely Morgan steps to banter with Julianna about life, fandom, why the other needs to consume Overwatch or Mass Effect, music, fan fiction, and so many feels.
Life is still pretty terrifying but there are good dictionaries and fun tweets and amazing cereals and THE HOT NEW MEME TREND TO SAVE 2016.
...It's in America, and in our hearts.
A road trip of interesting news, obligatory Hamilton discussions, and fandoms and memes and memes and memes...
This month Keerstan and Julianna welcome Jakz from Greataxe Gaming to the podcast! Taking a short break from regularly scheduled topics, the three of them discuss such things as favorite weaponry and notable emotional moments throughout the series.
The election happened, and we are doing our best to deal in the aftermath. Our own baby steps towards revolution aside, there is news abound for fandoms, as well as a metric fuckton of memes starring the White House's greatest bromance.
This is recorded on Election Night as results still continue to unfold. We are not okay. We are trying very hard to be. So this week, happy things and happy thoughts lie herein, or at least to the best of our abilities.
This week's highlights include yogurt, the world's pettiest Burger King, video games, mortal terror, and shoving anyone's "protest vote" straight up their ass.
This month Keerstan and Julianna let the salt flow through them as they profess their love for the Social Justice Spirit Warrior and staunchly reaffirm their positions as part of both the Anders Defense Squad and the Justice Defense Squad (as if there was every any doubt).
It's been a rough time as of late, so--may we present to you, dear listeners, a break. Here is a shorter episode that is comprised of nothing but positivity, because shit's rough and sometimes we all just need to take a moment to fucking breathe.
Somehow the spirit of Mona Lisa Saperstein comes over the podcast as we work to get to through 2016 by any means and all memes necessary.
Exploding internets, Wonder Woman's sexuality and gender, and the most delightful ice cream sandwich add some much needed points to 2016.
Some sparks of humanity and hope, as well as the obligatory fandom and memes, help to carry us through this month of Tuesdays.
This month, Keerstan and Julianna head further down into the Anders saga by delving into his relationships with the rest of the Kirkwall Crew and how to fix them, replete with headcanon and ever more invitations for BioWare to meet us in the fucking pit.
Such strange times we live in...Pittsburghese reaches Oxford, here's your chance to become a Krogan, the ongoing saga of Obama and his ever-disappearing fucks, TEAM JOLIE 5EVER.
...Reality will fucking chill and David Bowie will return in his starship to take us far from this place.
Robots, IRL Ron Swanson, fangirl hopes and dreams, and the promise of Taco Truck America all work to ease the blow of truly despicable national priorities.
Cocks, karma, Jason Momoa upon Jason Momoa upon all good things, Beyonce will be Beyonce, Bea Arthur continues to bless us from beyond, and the ever-present question of why the whitest of all white guys gets the roles he does.
Customer service robots are relatable on a deep, spiritual level but there are so many feels that are so very real, and we have come a little bit closer to trying to save 2016.
This month Keerstan and Julianna are joined by this show's first ever guest! Welcoming amazing cosplayer and overall fantastic human being Morgan to the podcast, they continue with the Anders feels in talking about his arc throughout Dragon Age II, with just the right amount of screaming one would expect from an ongoing Anders Defense Squad discussion!
Summer is still not okay but at least you can cover yourself in cats, everything is getting pumpkin spiced, and there are some fantastic people who exist.
Floral foreboding, extra special nerd adventures, social justice pocket monsters...oh my?
2016 is the weirdest year, the fangirling is strong with this one, things are strange, things are exciting, things are terrible, what even is 2016?!
Comic-Con happened and things are, as usual, every but as terrifying as they can be exciting.
We're back in proper action and there are many feels.
This month Keerstan and Julianna finally begin what will inevitably be many lengthy discussions of feels on feels on feels about their beautiful revolutionary rebel mage bae, the one and only Anders.
It's late and we're tired but the future is here in this weird fucking year and...we like it.
On this week's very, very special episode, keep your arms and legs inside the emotional roller coaster at all times, and always remember your medieval fantasy church explosion color wheel.
Summer ruins everything.
Tuesday: now available on Sundays!
This month Keerstan and Julianna discuss their glorious pirate bae, the lovely Isabela, and have obligatory emotions about how beautifully dynamic the story doesn't seem to want you to think she is.
It's here all fucking week, apparently...
While Keerstan is traipsing about Philadelphia with Chris Evans and Tom Hiddleston (yes, really), Megan joins for what turned into a pretty damn amazing Very Special Episode.
"The trash of the thing."
- Lin-Manuel Miranda
So you want to lick your cat...
This month Keerstan and Julianna talk about their mutual roller coaster of emotions revolving around Fenris and break each other's hearts almost as much as this beautiful broody elf already does himself.
The apocalypse is hella nigh.
Just another day in fandom hell in these, the end times...
What even is the universe.
The very least Tuesday to ever Tuesday.
Are you getting enough salt in your diet? No? Well, have we got the show for you!
This month, Keerstan and Julianna discuss Merrill: Dalish pariah cinnamon roll, forever building an eluvian straight to our hearts.
While Keerstan is day drinking out of giant plastic cups in Las Vegas (yes, really), Megan and Julianna talk about cats, cats, and more cats.
The internet is an interesting place.
Batman, politics...there's a mild theme.
At least it isn't Tuesday.
This month, Keerstan and Julianna get more in-depth than they expected about their problematic fave, the least misfit-y of all the Misfits, fellow Fereldan refugee turned Kirkwall's Guard Captain, Aveline Vallen.
Fuck you, that sounds perfectly normal.
This week Julianna and Keerstan set out on a quest to record a shorter episode...and succeed!
Keerstan's back! Keerstan's back! The BroTP is reunited and together they can make it through the rollercoaster of feels this episode entails.
Keerstan and Julianna get into their telling of the Champion.
Not everyone experiences fandom the same way. Weird.
While Keerstan is away, special guest Leah Rae comes to join in on all of the feels and memes!
Everybody gets to be a purrito!
ONE HUNDRED EPISODES OF SCENARIO STORE NEWS?!
sign me the FUCK up good shit good sHit